Notes in the Margin
by waywarddemons
Summary: I got a little bored and have currently become obsessed with Jess and Rory's early story.
1. Chapter 1

Jess leaned against the side of the diner, a cigarette pressed between his lips waiting anxiously to be lit and smoked. He had taken up the nasty habit for a year now, and while it started out as a ploy to anger his mother, it had become something he depended on. _Damn that nicotine._

Before he had only smoked every now and then, only when he could. Now he found himself needing a break, needing to smoke more. He hadn't been able to erase the image of Rory pulling him into a kiss from his mind. No amount of cigarettes, no books, no loud music even scratched at the surface.

Everything was reminding him of her. Every time he heard someone order coffee, which was quiet often. Every time the sky was just the right color that matched her eyes. He hated it, every damn second of wallowing for a girl who couldn't even be bothered to say more then, "Don't say a word!"

 _Jess stood at the edge of the lake, just out of view of the party, of the gathering of towns folk that only saw the bad in him. He sighed, how long would he wait here before giving up on Rory spotting him? It's not like she knew he was going to be here, and she was here with Dean. But when he saw her walking arm and arm with her father his heart couldn't help but flutter. This was his chance; this was his moment. She would surely see him now._

 _She gave the older man a loose hug and turned, eyes locking on Jess. He stood, his hand locked behind his back in fear of the nervous twitching they would commence had he let them loosely hang at his side. The dress, god he couldn't take his eyes off that dress. It brought out the color of her eyes so that even from the far off distance in which he stood, he could see them._

 _She hesitated a moment, her own nerves getting the best of her. Last she saw, Jess was in the big apple, reading on park benches and content with his life. He made no remark of wanting to come back to Stars Hollow, made no little quips that he would once again see her as she shuffled onto the bus after she skipped school for a final goodbye. She had thought that was it, at least for a while. Luke was his family after all. She was bound to see him at some silly holiday gathering, but she would have been prepared, would have been able to handle the meeting. Not like this, not like now where she was caught completely off guard._

He cursed under his breath and closed his eyes. Letting the quietness of the night wash over him. It had been a week now, a week of painstakingly waiting for any response from her. He told himself over and over again that he wouldn't wait for her. But deep down he knew that that was the biggest lie he could tell himself right now.

"Don't say a word." Rang through his mind over and over again. He knew she meant it so that Dean wouldn't get hurt, wouldn't be mad. She was saving both of them by keeping it a secret. But did she really have to keep it a secret from him as well? Was it so much to ask for a letter, a phone call, anything to set his mind at ease?

Lane and Dean had met up in the middle of time square a few times and read letters. The pain of knowing she had the time to write them and not him sent quick a stabbing to his heart every time he thought about it. He filled his mind with reassuring thoughts, trying to not think about why she chose to ignore him.

 _"What are you doing here?" She asked, closer to him now. He kept his arms behind him, still weary of the movements that might take over them. That damned dress was making them itch in need._

 _"Hello to you too." Jess quipped back, though he knew her question was sincere. He couldn't help it, years of sarcasm and quick little snap backs had become who he was. And she had caught him off guard. He stood there thinking she would be more then elated to see her, excited to have him back, but instead she asked why he was there._

 _"Is everything okay?" She asked, suddenly worried that his presence might not be for a good cause. Her mind raced with the possibilities of hurt family members, and even faintly that he was running from the law._

 _"You look nice." His eyes combed over her body, drinking in the memory of her. He liked her like this. Sure he enjoyed her Chilton uniform, and even her casually dressed Saturday attire. But seeing her dressed up, seeing that dress fitting to every curve of her body, really made a young man's mind wander._

 _Rory blushed, "Thank you." As if she wasn't already nervous, she had become even more with his compliment. It didn't matter that moments before Dean had told her the same thing, that memory was already growing fuzzy the longer she stood this close to Jess. "What are you doing here?" Now it was her turn to put her arms behind her. Now it was her turn to feel just as nervous as he was, if not more._

 _Jess shrugged his shoulders, his hands now in his pockets. Slowly moving closer to her, slowly wanting to pull her so she wasn't standing a safe three feet away from him. "I moved back." He said simply. As if it were something that didn't require more of an explanation._

 _"What?" Rory asked, her voice growing shaky. He was back? For good? For how long? Until something happened and he would take off just like he had last time?_

 _"I moved back." He said again, still not giving her the information he knew she was searching for. Nothing came easy, and he wasn't about to go about spilling his guts to the girl who couldn't even leave Dean for him._

 _She grew flustered, unable to process the information "But, what? Why?" She asked. She couldn't hide her nervousness. Couldn't hide the sudden worry in her voice. Dean popped into her mind and she knew that he was going to have a field day with this information. He was just starting to calm down about the whole Jess situation and now…_

 _"Just…" He felt the need to explain. Tell her he tried to go back home but that it no longer felt like home. He wanted to tell her that he came back because it was driving him insane to be away from her. But he couldn't. He couldn't form words like the ones he read. "Wanted to." Short and simple, that was the Jess way._

 _And then it happened. She lunged forward, her arms pulling his chest to hers. His hand reaching up to cup her face, their lips locking and melting and fitting like they were molded for one another. He pushed her waist into his, trying despite everything to get closer to her. Until she pulled away. Until her lips left his and her warmth was now creating a safe gap between them once again._

 _"Oh my god." She said, thinking of her actions. It was her, she had been the one to kiss him. She had known for how long now that Jess liked her, but that didn't matter, he was smart enough not to make any real moves on her because she had Dean. Dean, "Oh my god!" She turned her back to him, only thinking of the hurt, the pain, the way she was going to mess up the best, the only, relationship she had been in._

 _"Rory." Jess pleaded. God he didn't want that to stop, but he knew better then to force himself on her now._

 _"Don't say a word." She practically barked at him. the fear, the worry, the anger seeping into her words._

 _Jess nodded, "Okay." Again, knowing better then to ruin anything for her. He had always been sitting on the sideline, always waiting for her. He knew, he knew their relationship was one for the books, knew that with time it would happen._

 _"I have to go." She turned again, running back towards the party. "Oh welcome home!" She called back before disappearing into the thick of it all and leaving him with tingling lips and wanting her more than ever to be back in his arms._

Before he knew it his smoke was out and he was contemplating lighting another or going upstairs to throw himself into another book. Though books only helped aid him in remembering her. Even the fictitious worlds he tried to envelop himself into weren't enough. He hated this. This wasn't him. he didn't sit around and wait for a girl, any girl, to come to him. He was Jess Mariano for fucks sake.

Rory was the first girl who didn't swoon for him upon meeting him, but that only aided in the deep seeded need to be closer to her. Something about wanting what you can't have. But even he knew something was going on between them. Even he could feel the connection they had. After all, that was a huge reason he even came back to this silly town.

He pried himself from the wall and forced his heavy feet back into the diner. Luke was already in bed by the time he finally made it into the renovated room they shared. Jess tried to be as quiet as he could as he found a book and threw himself on the bed designated as his. Thankfully his bed side lamp didn't bother Luke, meaning that while Jess was going to have yet another sleepless night, Luke wouldn't have to suffer and be a grump the next day.


	2. Chapter 2

Jess had replaced his smoking with reading. With an hour left until closing and not a single customer in the dinner Jess hunched over the counter and buried his nose in yet another book. He was holding a new record when it came to a summer reading list, his English teacher would be proud. The bell to the door jingled signaling a customer was joining him in the small space. He looked up and long enough to notice the girl and went back to his book.

"You can sit anywhere." He said, just trying to finish the paragraph he had started. He closed the book sliding it across the counter and jumping to his feet. "Coffee?" He asked, noticing how she sat with a menu in her hand.

"Yes." Short simple answer. Jess liked this girl already. He had to admit she was good looking. Her short blonde hair, her dark eyes. The way her lips shimmered in the dim light. He placed a mug in front of her and poured the fresh cup of coffee for her slowly, taking the time to really notice the girl in front of him. Shane tapped her fingers nervously on the table as he hovered over her.

He had been growing so anxious and angry over Rory that he hadn't allowed himself to look around, smell the roses, as they say. And he was going to start smelling the roses. "Anything else?" He asked, hoping that she was here to stay. Her low tank top and tight jeans left nothing to Jess' imagination and only peaked his interest more.

"Nope." She popped the "p" in her nope. "Names Shane." Her legs bounced up and down under the table as she held her hand out for him to shake. She wasn't normally so nervous, but how could you not be when all alone with Jess?

Jess set to coffee pot down on the counter and slipped into the seat next to her, "Jess." He said simply, gripping her hand in his and shaking it. He'd met plenty of girls before, but never one that came off so strong like this. Never one that introduced herself to him. it was always the other way around. His interest had spiked.

"Look, I came in here because I think you're cute." Shane watched his reaction, and when he scoffed and turned his head away for a moment she had begun to think her forwardness was too much. All she needed to do now was lean over and kiss him and she would be crowned for her bluntness.

He ran his hand over his chin, letting her words sink in. Since he moved here he had inadvertently only kept his eyes on Rory. Only let his attention be for her, how could he not? She had stolen his heart the second he saw her and there was no going back. He had never, what did he think earlier? Stopped and smelt the roses around him. But now was his perfect chance to do so. Rory was making it painfully obvious that she wasn't about to drop everything and be with him. And quite frankly he was growing tired of sitting around and waiting for her.

"I can go; I mean I don't know what I expected." Shane raised her coffee mug to her lips and let the bitter dark coffee coat her mouth. She'd never really been a fan of the stuff, but she wasn't sure what she should have ordered. She didn't want food, and when he offered coffee she couldn't say no.

He rested his hand on her thigh, soothing the bouncing limb. "No, don't." He smiled, and felt her suddenly calm at his touch. Jess wasn't Dean. Jess could only be the nice guy for so long before he needed to pull out his typical bad boy card. And Shane here, was perfect for such a task. A perfect distraction to his current predicament.

It didn't take long for them to discover that the sexual chemistry between them was stronger than they had anticipated. And that didn't bother Jess in the slightest. He would get lost in Shane, finally finding a distraction that took his mind off of Rory. Something cigarettes, or books couldn't do. And that was good enough for him.

Jess wasn't surprised at how fast his relationship with Shane had progressed. Sure, he didn't mind the chapped lips and sloppy drool from the hardcore make out sessions that happened between them. And he didn't mind her always wanting to be around, no matter where or what he was doing. But it never seemed to be enough. He still knew the day Rory was coming back, thanks to a chatty Lorelai who sat in the Diner and mouthed it off to Luke. Even Shane's kisses couldn't drown out the sound of that woman's voice. Specially not after the mention of her daughter's name.

Every time the phone would ring his heart would still stop until Luke would confirm it wasn't for him. He would still force himself not to rush to the table when Luke would slam down the mail in a heap and walk away mumbling something about bills. Jess never really wanted to give up hope that she would reach out to him in some way. That maybe she was finally going to explain what it was that she wanted. Because as of right now her sign was pretty clear, and all he bothered to take from it was that she didn't want him.

Working at the diner was always a nice distraction and when down time came and Shane would be there it made time fly. Before he knew it day after day went by and he had completely forgotten about Rory or the infamous kiss. That was of course until he fell asleep to the Ramones blasting into his ears.

 _Jess sat outside, the sun beating on his dark clothes and warming him to his core. He turned the page of his book, a pen hanging loosely from his lips. He found a section of the text he wanted to elaborate on, have conversations later on about. Something he knew he could bring to her attention and spend hours discussing the meaning behind the authors words._

 _Rory walked in, a book under in one hand and a large cup of coffee in the other. She took her seat next to him, curling her feet under herself as she set her mug down. She glanced over at Jess, wishing she had a camera to capture the image of him so calm, so serene, and writing yet another quick note into the margins of her books._

 _"You know you ruin them when you do that." She said, eyeing him playfully. He didn't look up, finishing his train of thought before putting the pen back between his lips and giving her a quick smile._

 _He took the pen back out of his mouth, tapping it against the spine of his book. "You have never complained about my notes before." He closed his book and shifted so he could see Rory clearly now. "In fact, I think I can quote you saying something along the lines of it being inquisitive." He poked her arm, egging her on and knowing he was pushing all the right buttons. "Or how about the time you said you loved that we could stay up all night talking about the little notes I left in the books you read."_

 _"Don't quote me to me!" Rory hit him playfully on the shoulder. She couldn't help but laugh, knowing that they were comfortable in their relationship to poke jokes at one another._

 _Jess wrapped her in his arms and hugged her to his chest. The smell of her freshly washed hair wafted up his nose and made him feel at home, finally a place he could call home. Sure their apartment had been small, but it held all the things they needed. Jess had to get over the fact that her family was so involved, that they offered to help furnish and supply them with the practically everything._

 _Jess had learned a long time ago it would never simply be her and him. Sure they had tried, but it didn't last long after she called her mother and told her the good news. But Jess didn't mind. He had actually gotten used to Lorelai and her quirky ways._

Rory's laugh echoed in his mind as he started to wake. The images of her sitting with him in a few years sipping on coffee and working on articles for some newspaper he could name. He rubbed at his chin as he sat up. The sun wasn't up yet, which made him only more upset that he was forced to lay in agony and think about the dream.

He was doing so good, not thinking about her, not counting down the days until she was going to show up and be back here. He was doing good at ignoring the missed phone calls, and the lack of letters she had sent him; up until now. And laying in this bed wasn't going to do anything to help him.

He grabbed his boots quietly and his jacket before slipping through the door and down the stairs to the diner. It was empty, and dark, but over the years he had learned the room like the back of his hand. Now that he could make a little more noise, he slipped his feet into his books and slung the jacket over his shoulders.

He found a pack of cigarettes in his pocket and hit the brand new pack on the palm of his hand a few times. He bit down on the small plastic tab and pulled. The smell of fresh cloves made him remember only a few short years ago when he had taken the habit on. He slipped one of the long white sticks between his lips and fished in his pockets for his lighter.

He paused, overlooking the small town square he had grown accustomed to. Taylor had already started to hang up decorations for some Summer Madness festival. Something the town participated in every month or so. Another thing Jess had grown accustomed to. Stars Hollow wasn't so bad; it was just different. In New York you didn't know your neighbors, you didn't participate in festivities and you sure as hell didn't dress up in costumes and parade around town like any other day. Well, some people might of.

He pulled the cigarette from his lips and thought about lighting it. He leaned his head against the wall letting his it hit the wood. He didn't mind the pain, in fact he wanted to do it again, wanted to keep hitting his head until the memory of Rory could be banged out.

He knew that was silly, and impossible. He lit the cigarette and took a long drag, filling his lungs with it. He closed his eyes, welcoming the familiar calm feeling that took over him as he exhaled and a plume of smoke distorted his vision temporarily.

Jess knew that his relationship with Shane was only temporary, and as much as he could have done without it he knew that being in it wasn't as terrible. Shane had made it perfectly clear she too wasn't trying to read too much into their relationship. Or if she was she didn't make it clear. And that was okay. Not knowing was okay. Not having a plan was okay. Jess could barely tell what he wanted to do tomorrow and Shane helped fill the void he was feeling.

They had both known that they weren't made for one another. Shane and Jess knew they were never going to get married, or have a house together. It was just something fun to kill time when Jess and Shane needed it. Shane was a sweet girl though; Jess could picture her eventually making someone happy. But he knew well enough that it wasn't him. She was simple, he never had much to tantalize his senses with her.

Before he knew it he was lighting another cigarette and hugging his arms close to him. The sun was peaking its head over the horizon and Jess knew Luke's alarm would be sounding soon. Which meant that he would notice he was gone and Jess would have to try and ignore the questions Luke would fire rapidly at him.

He threw his cigarette butt on the ground and smashed it out with the toe of his shoe. His hand lingered on the door handle before he ever so slowly opened it. The little bell not even getting a chance to ring. Not that it mattered, the moment he finally got the door closed and locked he turned around and there stood Luke. Luke's arms were crossed over his chest and his hair a disgruntled mess. Sweats hung from his hips and a t-shirt exposed his normally plaid covered arms.

"You're smoking again?" Luke asked and Jess didn't answer. "Jess what's going on? Why are you already awake?" Luke had a few more questions, questions he knew wouldn't get answers. Instead Jess slipped past him and ran up the stairs two at a time until he could throw himself on his bed once more.


	3. Chapter 3

Finally, it was the day Rory was coming home, and no matter how busy Jess tried to make himself he couldn't get it out of his head that she was going to be back. Part of him wanted to say something to her, ask her anything, talk to her, but he knew better. She was giving him the silent treatment, and two could play at that game.

Luke had allowed Jess the morning hours off, something about how he should go out and partake in the town festivities. Jess hated them just as much as Luke did, but it was a great distraction when Shane piped up that she would love to join him, only with so many less words.

Shane snuck upstairs and joined Jess in the apartment. She had never been up there before and after Jess' small little tour she nervously chewed the mint gum in her mouth. "Well, this is it." Jess said as he concluded the tour. He watched her look around, but her eyes never lingered on one spot long enough for him to strike up a conversation about anything.

Jess and Shane had already established talking wasn't their strongest qualities when together. Not that talking was ever a strong quality in Jess to begin with. So instead Jess found himself holding Shane's waist to his and pressing his lips hungrily to hers. And Shane had no protests. Jess welcomed the familiar bubble gum flavored lip gloss into his mouth as he slowly stepped her closer to his bed.

With a little help from his hand on her lower back she found the bed and laid on it, her lips never leaving his. He climbed on top of her, pressing his body firmly against hers. They had been in this position a few times now, but Jess never tried to go farther. Until today.

He wasn't sure what possessed him today, but his hand found her belt and instantly tried to undo it. Shane once again had no protests. In fact, her hand found the base of his hair line and pulled gently at it, Jess groaned and knew he needed to make the next step. He bit at her lower lip, feeling it swell in his mouth. She moaned into his mouth and arched her back, pressing her chest into his.

Jess' mind was going crazy, and nothing he was doing was fast enough. He wanted to keep feeling her press against him, but the need to have her skin against his was growing inside of him and creating a monster. One that was attempting to rip off her clothes, one article at a time.

Shane was easy. Shane was simple. He never had to struggle to much to figure out just what she wanted and any problem could simply be fixed with mouths locking together for long increments of time, only coming up long enough to breathe before digging right back in. And this was being coming a comfortable situation. That was, until he realized Rory was coming home and he wasn't sure what was going to happen next.

Shane wasted no time after they had made their rounds in finding her lips locked with his once more, and when Jess found himself pinned against a tree he had no protests. Other than the annoying sounds of the same song over and over again in the background. He wanted to throw a rock at the singing group, hoping that with one down the rest would follow and quit their singing altogether. _Point one for Taylor._

Jess hadn't noticed Rory finding him, he was too busy with his hands roaming Shane's body as she pinned him against the tree. Sliding his hands in her back pockets he grew more and more content with his distraction. He was even starting to drown out the annoying singing and focusing instead on the soft moans that kept escaping Shane's lips as he deepened his kiss. The memories of earlier only fueling the fire between them.

His tongue found hers and did their little dance, one he had gotten so used to in the few weeks that he and Shane had spent together. One that still did things to his 17-year-old body and mind that drove him crazy. She didn't care who watched, so why should he? He was already the bad boy, why not deepen his image with a few graphic public displays of affection.

"Gotta go." He said between kisses. "Work." But he never took his hands off of her, never let her lean out of his touch. He needed this, he needed to fill the void inside of him with something and Shane was fitting in nicely right now.

He pried his hands off of her and pushed himself off the tree. It was then, and only then that he spotted Rory walking away with Dean's hand in hers. And he knew. She made up her mind, once again the giant imp won. And so be it. "Come by later." Jess said, pecking Shane on the lip as she reapplied lip-gloss to them to hide the evidence he had been there. Not that it helped, it only made her puffy lips look bigger and more inviting. Plus, he was getting used to the sticky sweetness of her bubblegum flavored lip-gloss.

Luke had opted to be silent when Jess came trudging back into the diner. He watched Jess angrily tie his apron around his waist and grab at the half full coffee pot and make his rounds. Luke knew what today was, and knew that there was a chance Jess had seen Rory while out on his little trip. That is of course if he had taken the time to pry his face off of Shane's.

"What would you like to order?" Jess asked in his usual angry way. Most the guests had gotten used to it, this was Jess. A ball of pent up anger, and frustration. "What the menu have to many big words for you to understand?" He asked, growing annoyed that they didn't answer. "Okay, I'll give you more time."

Luke shook his head and swooped in, his notepad in his hand. "Sorry about that. Are you ready to order?" He asked, only slightly nicer then the boy before. He jotted down their order and threw the card to Cesar in the kitchen. "Jess a word?" Luke asked, gesturing to the supply closet.

Jess set the coffee pot down and picked up the order in the window. "Nope." He swiftly moved around the diner floor, both placing and taking orders form the few guests inside. Luke didn't want to give up, but he knew better then to keep prying. He would eventually crack the boy, but here, on the diner floor probably wasn't the best option.


	4. Chapter 4

Jess slunk out of the market pounding the pack of cigarettes on the palm of his hand. He grunted ripping it open in a haste and throwing his trash in the bin as he walked further into the small town square. It was still early, and barely anyone was out.

Luke watched Jess angrily tie his apron around his waist and grab at the half full coffee pot and make his rounds. Luke knew what today was, and knew that there was a chance Jess was going to see Rory while out on his little trip. That is of course if he had taken the time to pry his face off of Shane's.

"What would you like to order?" Jess asked in his usual angry way. Most the guests had gotten used to it, this was Jess. A ball of pent up anger, and frustration. "What the menu have too many big words for you to understand?" He asked, growing annoyed that they didn't answer. "Okay, I'll give you more time."

Luke shook his head and swooped in, his notepad in his hand. "Sorry about that. Are you ready to order?" He asked, only slightly nicer then the boy before. He jotted down their order and threw the card to Cesar in the kitchen. "Jess a word?" Luke asked, gesturing to the supply closet.

Jess set the coffee pot down and picked up the order in the window. "Nope." He swiftly moved around the diner floor, both placing and taking orders form the few guests inside.

Jess lay in his bed, trying to scrub the memory of Rory walking away with Dean's hand in hers from his mind. He wasn't sure if she had seen him, but he had seen her, and he knew. She had made up her mind. She had once again chosen the giant imp as hers over him. And so be it. The phone rang and for the first time all summer he didn't jump to answer it. For the first time all summer he didn't think it would be her.

"Hey." He answered, holding the phone to his ear and turning his music down so he could hear whoever was on the other line.

"I had fun today." Shane said on the other line, he could hear the smile in her voice. He could picture her laying on her bed as they talked, chewing on her gum like a cow.

Jess couldn't help but agree. Aside from the crappy music and seeing Rory his time with Shane had been a great distraction. "Can I come by?" He asked, looking out the window at the dark empty streets. He feared seeing Rory and Dean walking by, but shook the thought out of his mind when Shane said sure. "See ya soon." He hung up, searching his pile of clothes on the ground for his jacket.

He attempted to pass by Luke sitting in the dinner alone, hoping he could get out without any questions, but as Luke eyed him he knew there was no leaving until Luke asked his twenty questions. "Where are you going?"

"Out." Jess pulled the bottom of his jacket down.

Luke crossed his hand over his chest and eyed the small boy in front of him. "To see Shane?"

"Sure." Jess agreed, copying Luke and crossing his arms over his chest. He attempted to copy his face, but felt the muscles straining to frown the way Luke was.

Luke glanced outside. "Its late."

"Yes it is. Anything else obvious to say?" Luke moved out of Jess' way and Jess didn't hesitate to pass him and hit the night air. Jess was growing used to the small town, the only thing he could say he liked about it was that he could walk to everything in a few minutes unlike the big city where it could take hours to cross the city.

Jess cautiously approached Shane's window and tapped a few times while looking around, making sure that no one was watching him. Shane opened the window and took a few steps back so he could jump in. She stood in her pajamas, short shorts and a tank top pulled down low. Jess quickly grabbed at Shane's face and his tongue found hers and did their little dance, one he had gotten so used to in the few weeks that he and Shane had spent together. One that still did things to his 17-year-old body and mind that drove him crazy.

As always she tasted like bubble gum, between the gum still in her mouth and the lip gloss still stuck to her lips she always tasted like bubble gum. Her hands pulled at his hair, forcing closer to her. Jess gripped her hips, hands feeling the warmth of her bare skin under them. The way Shane melted into him was more than comforting.

He lost himself in her, letting his body take over as he devoured her lips. His mouth trailing kisses down her chin line to her neck. Shane moaned, leaning her head back for better access. She slowly stepped back, searching for her bed so that she could try and move this forward. With the help of his hand her back pressed into her mattress and Jess climbed on top of her. His hips pressed firmly into her as she wrapped her legs around him trapping him against her.


End file.
